THE Quotable DRUNKARD by STEVEN KATES

Author:STEVEN KATES
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: epub, ebook
Publisher: Adams Media, Inc.
Published: 2011-07-15T00:00:00+00:00

1. Sounds simple, but the creation is a little tricky: the sambuca goes first into a shot glass, followed by the Baileys, which must rest unmixed on top. To achieve this effect, slowly pour the Baileys down the tilted side of the glass and straighten, or else pour the Baileys over an upside-down spoon. After the first twelve attempts, you start to get the hang of it. If you can still see straight.

Now, you may be saying, Hmm: anise and sweet creamy tastes — mm-mm! Or not. In case you hadn't noticed, doing shots isn't always about good taste, and the addition to this drink of a cherry (a nipple, get it?) seals the deal.

What can I tell you. It was the 1980s.

Sara : What should we toast to?

Hitch : Never lie, steal, cheat, or drink. But if you must lie, lie in the arms of the one you love. If you must steal, steal away from bad company. If you must cheat, cheat death. And if you must drink, drink in the moments that take your breath away.

— H ITCH

Waiter : May I take your order?

Ron Burgundy : Yes, I am going to have three fingers of Glenlivet with a little bit of pepper, and, uh, some cheese.

Waiter : Very good.

Veronica Corningstone : Uh, I'll take a Manhattan, and kick the vermouth in the side with a pair of steel-toed boots.

Waiter : Certainly.

Burgundy : Thank you, Scott. [To Veronica ] Wow. Quite a drink order.

Corningstone : Oh, well, when in Rome.

Burgundy : Yes? Please, go on.

Corningstone : Uh, do as the Romans do? [after Burgundy's blank look ] It's an old expression.

Burgundy : Oh! I've never heard of it. It's wonderful, though.

— A NCHORMAN

Michael : [ checking out at a liquor store ] Hey, you're the expert. Is this enough to get twenty people plastered?

Clerk : [ seriously considers ] Fifteen bottles of vodka? Yeah, that should do it.

— T HE OFFICE

“Alright, listen. I can get you alcohol. I'm going to this party right now, bro. Okay? It's got booze, it's got girls. Booze and girls equals … I don't know. Do you? I don't know. Do you? I think you do. Do you?”

— F RANCIS THE DRIVER, SUPERBAD

“When used separately, women and alcohol can be a lot of fun.

But if you mix them, they can turn you into a dumbass.”

— R ED FOREMAN, THAT 70S SHOW

“Chartreuse! The only liquor so good they named a color after it!”

— W ARREN THE BARTENDER, DEATH PROOF

“I want to thank you all for coming here tonight and drinking all of my booze.”

— B RUCE WAYNE, BATMAN BEGINS

“Hey! What kind of party is this? There's no booze and only one hooker.”

— B ENDER, FUTURAMA

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